i, Lucifer,
Fallen Angel,
Prince of Darkness,
Bringer of Light
Have decided to tell all...

All...?
I'm toying with this for a title.
Let's save time:
Everything that distracts you
From thinking about God.
Which pretty much is everything in the world.

For a start,
What I must tell you about is Humans,
As that pug-faced kraut
And chronic masturbator Kant pointed out,
Are stuck within the limits of space and time
And all like that.

You just have to be the angels
If you little monkeys want to know
Whether Eden was really lush,
Whether Heaven is as dull as it sounds,
Whether Hell is really hot.

After my Fall...
The Old Dealmaker bespoke for me
A trial run - for about a century -
- With all the delights of the flesh...
The flesh slightly worn;
One previous owner -
- A charming and sexy young writer,
So that to me what it's like to be human
Would be far too well known.

Truth is, if there was a safe way down -
- A fire escape - then Gabriel and Michael
Would be tiptoeing down to my door.

Abandon hope ye who enter here,
But get ready for a flood of giggle, dearie -
- Naivety is absent from my own cv.

i, Lucifer,
I have decided to tell all...
All...?
I'm toying with this for a title,
As if my entire being is hosting
Its own private Armageddon -
- Walking amongst you
Has more pratfalls and detours
Than I foresaw...
Let's save time:
Now I fear for my soul.