Аннотация: We know what will be tomorrow. On Kosti-NF. A story.
We know what will be tomorrow. On Kosti-NF. A story.
Mr. Wintertund, the second deputy general director of the Kosti-NF radio station, decided to have some tea.
But first, it is necessary to go around the native radio station, to observe how the native team works.
Mr. Wintertund walked along the corridor, repeating with pleasure: "We know what will happen tomorrow!"
Always closed, earlier, but now always open, door.
"Kva-kva!" A croaking. O'key!
Mr. Wintertund moved on.
"We know what will happen tomorrow!"
Special studio. On the walls there are Hieronymus Bosch paintings. Doctor Evil is broadcasting here. But now he is resting. In Italy, in his own villa, which was bought and paid at the expense of the budget money of the Russian Federation. Prepares a program about patriotism. "Works by the tongue, like an electric blender!" - Mr. Wintertund thought approvingly. - "He is able to work at extremely great speed and for an unlimited period of time!"
Next radio studio. Interview with a veterinarian. What if the dog's hair falls out? A little? Mr. Wintertund walked faster along the corridor. "Treatment is a matter of luck!"
"We know what will happen tomorrow!"
Iron Man was going along the corridor towards Mr. Wintertund.
A person of broad interests. One of his themes today is Oorfene Deuce's army of wooden soldiers hired by Uncle Remus. For foreign money. In general, a storyteller. [А. М. Волков 'Урфин Джюс и его деревянные солдаты']
Iron Man looked at Mr. Wintertund with a hypnotic gaze.
He read on the lips of Mr. Wintertund the phrase "We know what will happen tomorrow!" and immediately spoke out.
Mr. Wintertund checked whether his cell phone was charged and whether the phone was on.
Iron Man was hastily explaining:
- Money in the morning, chairs in the evening! They sent trucks full of money ahead of the foreign minister's visit! Uncle Remus will have to do something very unpleasant. Very, very unpleasant deals. If Uncle Remus will agree with everything, then the money will be formalized. If he will not agree, he will have to return the money. But he cannot but agree. However, to make him less hesitant, trucks were sent - so that it was clear that there would be no fraud with the money.
Iron Man looked hypnotically at Mr. Wintertund, expecting a reaction to the proposed topic of the radio program.
Mr. Wintertund listened to own cell phone. The cell phone was silent.
- The topic is interesting. But if we devote an hour of our airtime to this program, what will happen the day after tomorrow?
The interlocutors approached the door of Mr. Wintertund's office and entered the office.
"If I could, I would have occupied this office!" - Iron Man thought dreamily. - "But God did not give big horns to the aggressive cow!"
Iron Man was preparing (in the form of rhetorical questions, in the form of suggestions to a mentally modeled audience, in the form of reproaches to some mentally constructed opponents) to repeat five to ten times what he had already said to Mr. Wintertund.
But at this time a special telephone apparatus rang - the apparatus with the handset, which was never, no one time, rised, was never used.
- We are focusing on the topic of untimely New Year's corporate parties! Boss installation!
Iron Man was silent for a second.
- It's brilliant! First, the coronavirus. Secondly, we must not abuse the patience of the owners! Corporate parties are unnecessary!
Mr. Wintertund looked favorably at Iron Man. "Sivka was tired of the steep hills! ..."
- So, I have to prepare a program about the undesirability of New Year's corporate parties?
The cell phone rang. The call came from the boss's number.
Mr. Wintertund pressed the receive button.
- Pasta! - the voice of the boss was clearly heard in the dynamics.
The boss completed the conversation.
- Yes, yes, - Mr. Wintertund agreed graciously. - Prepare a program about the harm, about the undesirability of New Year's corporate parties. In addition to the risks of coronavirus infection, there is also the issue of the owners' comfort. Lovers of New Year's holidays should not try, should not testing the patience of the owners. New Year's bonus for you personally (thank the boss!). The rate for your New Year's programs about corporate events is increased by 20 percent!
- Thanks! - Iron Man headed to the break room to meet the European Man. In a casual conversation, they loved to exchange the experience - how to repeat the same thought in front of a microphone five to ten times. Rhetorical questions, reproaches, suggestions, recollections, thoughts jumping into memories, associations or comments on parallel topics (with a subsequent return to the main thought), a modeling a dialogue with a prospective opponent with a creative change in the image of the opposite side of the dialogue. The radio commentator speaks in front of the microphone, gives out verbal content! And the money are circulating! money flows!
"We know what will happen tomorrow!" - thought Iron Man. - 'This specialist in Europe will tell that people around the world are just waiting for him to appear on the air in order to send an SMS to the radio station with an expression of respect and indicating the country in which they live.' "In Canada and New Zealand they cannot live without the transmission of the European Man and without his repetitions in front of a microphone of the same thing, but under different sauce and using different words." 'But these SMS are working! He is paid at rates that are twice as high as usual! "
With an average speech rate of 1.7 words per second, a typical radio commentator Kosti-NF was able to speak out approximately 4500 words in 45 minutes and earned about $ 90 in 45 minutes - at a rate of 2 cents per word. European Man worked at a rate of 4 cents per word and felt great.
Only Doctor Evil had a rate of 20 cents per word. But he is in a special position - he is close to some Circles ...
"I'll have to invest in SMS mailing ... from different countries."
But he, Iron Man, knows how to work with Internet content, identify the most interesting live topics! ... Intelligent crowdsourcing in de facto mode! Radio station colleagues appreciate his intuition! He, Iron Man, came up the idea of not wanting to test the patience of the owners. Idea came right on the go. And the boss immediately increased the bid by 20 percent. 2 cents multiply 1.2 equals 2.4. 2.4 * 4500 = 10800. Therefore, it is quite realistic to receive over $ 100 for a 45 minute transmission. "Thanks to boss!"
Iron Man headed to the break room to exchange experiences with European Man.
Mr. Wintertund thoughtfully looked at Iron Man leaving the office. 'Do not test the patience of the owners! - This is what you need to focus on when covering the topic of New Year's corporate parties! "
Mr. Wintertund turned on the electric kettle. Everything is all right on Kosti-NF. Now he can have a cup of aromatic tea.
"We know what will happen tomorrow!"
Explanations:
1) Oorfene Deuce is the hero of AM Volkov's fairytale cycle about the Magic Land and the Emerald City. Is the main antagonist in the fairy tale "Urfin Deuce and his Wooden Soldiers" [Урфин Джюс - герой сказочного цикла А. М. Волкова о Волшебной стране и Изумрудном городе. Является главным антагонистом в сказочной повести 'Урфин Джюс и его деревянные солдаты']
2) "God didn't give horns to an aggressive cow" - an ironic Russian proverb. ["Бодливой корове Бог рогов не даёт (не дал)" - ироническая русская поговорка.]
3) "Sivka was tired of the steep hills! ..." - a loss of strength due to numerous difficulties. Russian folk proverb. 'Укатать' [to roll offf] - here: to torment, deprive of strength, vivacity by frequent and tiring trips on a bad road. "Sivka" is a grayish-gray (gray) horse. ["Укатали сивку крутые горки" - утрата сил из-а многочисленных трудностей. Русская народная поговорка. 'Укатать' - здесь: измучить, лишить сил, бодрости частой и утомительной ездой, поездками по плохой дороге. 'Сивка' - лошадь серовато-сизого (сивого) цвета.]
[MDCCXCIII. Journalistess from the province, the People's Ultimatum of Tsikhanouskaya, and metropolitan mortgage. A sketch. - October 27, 2020.
MDCCXCIX. The balanced information. A story about a difficult media problem. - October 29, 2020.
MDCCCIII. Day of National Unity and another Karamzinius at the Kosti-NF radio station. A story. - October 31, 2020.
MDCCCV. Trishka's Kaftan. The Media sketch. - November 2, 2020.
MDCCCIX. "Conditions" radio program on Kosti-NF. The story. - November 4, 2020.
MDCCCXVI. The support for bloggers on Kosti-NF. A sketch. - November 7, 2020.
MDCCCXXXVI. Elections in Moldova on Kosti-NF. A story. - November 15, 2020.
MDCCCXLII. Brandenburg Gate on Kosti-NF. A story. - November 18, 2020.
MDCCCXLVI. Mafia of a bearded frog on Kosti-NF. A story. - November 20, 2020.]
22 November 2020 11:52
Translation from Russian into English: November 23, 2020 04:24.
Владимир Владимирович Залесский 'Мы знаем, что будет завтра. На Кости-NF. Рассказ'.