|
|
||
AMERICANS
They are loud and obnoxious. They say, "Look!" when they ask you to listen. They dress sloppy or slutty depending on the daytime. They drink horse piss and call it beer.
At their parties they come forward and tell sobby stories about their remarkable mothers, who married at 14 and raised 15 kids.
They talk about Europe with the confidence of someone who has never been there, digging all their knowledge from the colorful prospects and magazines of their travel agencies.
They do not read books and if they do, they appraise Snoopy more than Dickens and Dickens more they Draiser.
They play lottery, hoping just like during the golden fever to get rich in one day.
Their church services are transformed into a circus or, in a better case, a huge platzdarm, and their prayers sound like pop songs.
Their women shout about feminism and seek men without ever trusting them. Their men are into sex but are more prejudious and moralistic than Muslims.
They are obsessed with their looks and their health has been the aim of moneymaking of the whole country. Their health food costs more and requires a special hippy-like attitude.
Their history majors don't always remember that the Soviet Union "also" was involved in the World War II.
Their industry is capable of producing the fastest cars but they are not allowed to drive more than 75 m/h.
Their popular knowledge of classical music consists of "The Nutcracker Suite" and the only artist they know at face is Luciano Pavarotti.
They often wear sneakers made in China which fall apart in 3 consecutive days and top it off with a baseball cap, although only few of them are somewhat imaginable to do any kind of sport beside watching television.
Most of all, they don't like the truth to be told by someone who is not even one of them.
December 29, 2000
|